And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins. Mark 11:25 NIV

Charles W. Schuler

What else could I do? I had offended my Sunday school student, Ms. “O”, and there were no “do-overs.” I apologized and explained the situation from my perspective. But the hurt continued even after my second apology. The hurt morphed into a grudge.

Carrying a grudge is wasted work. And grudges turn into unforgiveness.

I was disappointed because Ms. “O” was a lovely lady who added deep insight during class. She was well-educated, a devout biblical student and trained teacher. Impressed by her background and the copious notes she took during class, I ask Ms. “O” if she would consider teaching for me on occasional Sundays when I couldn’t attend. She was honored and did an excellent job on subsequent Sundays in my absence.

An old friend of mine, who had been in the class since the beginning and had originally recruited me to teach, volunteered to arrange for substitutes when I couldn’t be there.

When I had to miss class unexpectedly, I quickly contacted my friend to recruit a substitute. She chose someone other than Ms. “O.” Perhaps pride caused Ms. “O” to assume she was the only substitute. Because she was not chosen, she grew angry and her anger grew until she left our Sunday school class and eventually left our church.

All of us have hurt or been hurt by someone, whether it was intentional or not.

Unfortunately, it’s part of the human experience. But are you harboring unforgiveness?

Do you carry a feeling of ill will or resentment toward someone, wishing you could avenge the situation?

Leviticus 19:18 commands, “You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord.”

What a shift. God wants us to give away love rather than take revenge. And we must consider love often to keep it alive and stronger than unforgiveness.

Ms. “O” never apologized and, as far as I know, still harbors unforgiveness. If that is true, she is the one feeling pain.

I have heard unforgiveness described as drinking poison thinking the other person will die.

Holding a grudge only hurts the one holding it. Jesus said in Mark 11:25, “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”

Is there someone you need to forgive? Are you asking Jesus to forgive your debts as you forgive others? If not, try praying as Jesus taught us in Matthew 6:12-15: 

“And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.  And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

If Jesus emphasized the importance of unforgiveness in the prayer He taught us, perhaps we should consider its Kingdom magnitude.

Who do you need to forgive? Who do you need to ask for forgiveness? Write their name on a piece of paper and pray for them now. Ask Jesus to replace unforgiveness with love and for clarity about next steps.

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